The lows of being a working mom

It would be hypocritical of me to talk only about the advantages to being a working mom and not give full weight to the disadvantages.



I work 3 days a week, Monday, Thursday and Friday but mentally I'm always at work. I on my so called days off I have another job entitled 'Ferrier to school.' On a bad day I go back and forth to school 3 times. So thats 6 journeys to school and back. Each journey is 1.7 miles. I walk now the weather is good and this eats up the whole of my day. This is because son no2 is half day at nursery. Half day nursery doesn't work for me . The school doesn't allow you to pay for a 2nd session during the day but I'm going to suggest it. When I was in London son no2 and son no1 went to a pre-school that took the government funding and allowed you to pay for the extra sessions. They were really affordable and it meant that a 3 year old can be at preschool/nursery from 9 til 3. This is a much better arrangement for me and my child. He's ready to stay at school all day yet he will not have the opportunity till Jan 2010! I am livid! In London he would have been starting school full time by October 2009.

Just lately I have found it hard to wind down. I just feel there's so much to be done and not enough time or energy in the day to do them. Plus I'm experiening the postcode lottery. The NHS provision is very different from where I came from. Different meaning bad, poor, less than mediocre.
What to do? Discussed going back to London/Surrey as house prices have dropped. Still have to up my income though.

I have been able to find a way to cope. I ask friends for advice and I've been getting good advice lately. I also always make time for my friends, we either go out for coffee or breakfast. Yesterday as I spoke to my friend I felt as if a weight had been lifted off me.
Thank God for sisterhood.

This tired stay and home mom versus working mom debate.

I think this stay at home mom working mom debate is stupid. Everyone is different. You cannot prescribe one form of behaviour for everyone as everyone is different. If staying at home works for you and yours do it. If going to work helps you to feel like Ms Independant then do it. If you have to work when you'd rather not realise its hard work but try and make some special days for you and yours to remind them that you love them. My mom worked 2 nights while she had us and she said that work gave her a break. Similarly I was reluctant to go back to work in London but to my surprise I'm loving dressing up and going to London to work. I enjoy the vibrancy of London compared to my quiet town and its a beautiful balance. I've been out to dinner countless times, connected with my funky collegues, made lunch for one of my collegues and friends. I feel alive again. I am also arranging to do a yoga class after work on Thursday (I work til 1pm). Then I can go swimming on Friday afternoons. When I was home I was at the school 6 times a day. It hardly gave me time to do anything. If I have a coffee with a friend it has a knock on effect on the whole day. Forget me time. So although I'm busier than ever before I am happier. Before I moved I would go to mother and baby groups and go to parks and the Horniman museum. Housework did take a back seat to my husbands disgust.
I'm going to be tracking this debate in the newspapers and would greatly appreciate some feedback.

Time for the Church to be united

Went to a Newwine women's conference on Saturday with the Baptist church I attend. I was greatly encouraged and my mind was opened. People were speaking in tongues, falling out, shouting and moaning in the Spirit! It Still wasn't as loud as Pentecostals but wow it was good! I got confimation about using your gifts and talents, things that come natural to you so that your light shines among everyone you meet.
So Pentecostal people we do not have the monopoly on the Holy Spirit and we must take part in what the Church of England is doing because despite controversy there is nothing that divides us spiritually. There is a richness in diversity and I have found this whenever I attend a service which is multicultural and interdenominational.
There was a time when race and loud worship meant we weren't welcome and some churches still have that hang up but not all. Lets come together and really celebrate God's Kingdom now.

It seems like a lot has happened since I last blogged. So I'll update on motherhood so far.
Eldest seems to be settling into school more, met some of his friends and met a couple of mothers who I never met before.
Middle child also settling sometimes cries before nursery but doing OK.
Baby is getting chubbier by the day. The Eczema is better but the meeting with the Specialist was a big let down. Its a good thing Baby's skin was getting better before I met him. Someone was telling me that African remedies and medicine is far more effective in the treatment of Black skins. I believe them. My sister in law made a crude concoction of crushed anti biotics and Vaseline made in Nigeria and it works! She also gave me some herbs for him to wash in.

My Sister thought she had eczema and she had a really bad skin for 16 years, very sensitive, weeping and crusty and darkened her skin. Went to South Africa and the Dr told her that it was a parasite she had picked up from a beach when she was 18. Her skin has now completely healed and she can't stop looking at herself in the mirror. I haven't seen her yet but I well up every time I think about it.

My personal development is going well. I have been reading about Tony Buzan's mindmapping and it is revolutionising my life. I can plan lessons quickly and easily and it works with the way I work. Excellent for a time poor mom.
I have so much to do in my day I find it hard to wind down. Anybody else had this problem? What did you do to combat it? Love to hear from you.
Peace out